Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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