ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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