just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
