Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
