Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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