You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize