Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
