The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
