Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
