Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
