dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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