i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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