He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
