I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
