Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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