wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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