Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize