She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
