allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
