Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
