What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
