Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
