..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
