Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
