They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Less talking, more tequila
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
