everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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