I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
