you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
