I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
and she was petting her beer can
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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