my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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