What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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