I just gift wrapped bread.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize