he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
