it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
What a dumb baby whore.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
