you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
