she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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