i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
