i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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