In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
