No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
