Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
