I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
