If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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