i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
