his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
