I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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