guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize