No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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