Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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