I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
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