weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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