i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
