No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
