Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
