New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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