i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
