Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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