There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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