Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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