hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
