I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Even my vagina gasped.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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