I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Randomize
